remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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