According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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