WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
