oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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