Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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