Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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