everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
