I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
