I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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