im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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