Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i was born a porn star she said
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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