They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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