I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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