Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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