Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
