There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
