You really coming over, don't trick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
