Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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