One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
