why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
