I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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