Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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