Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
