Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
