i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize