aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
