you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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