I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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