I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize