Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you would pick up someone in the library
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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