My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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