Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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