Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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