And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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