Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
