margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
