I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
