my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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