"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
