I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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