so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
