I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
