some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
