I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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