ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
