Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize