their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
