We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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