I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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