Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
