Kiss
Puke
More tranny stories later!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
