We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize