He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
