First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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