Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize