He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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