Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
