the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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