I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
