Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
