It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
that is very illegal...i love you.
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