I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
