I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
