my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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