I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
