OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Green mimosas i think yes
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
