We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This girl is more easily done than said...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
